Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
