Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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