Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize