Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
