I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
