Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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