the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Randomize
