dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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