So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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