The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
