i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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