Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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