Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
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