she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize