My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
