Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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