I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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