Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Two words: blizzard sex
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize