but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
