He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
