you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
