Just cropdusted the office
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
