jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
