Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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