You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
