the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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