Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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