Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize