I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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