btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
