She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
