oh god the rape fog is back!
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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