Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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