I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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