Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial

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(251): View more from Alabama

Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?

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(720): View more from Colorado

When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller

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(256): View more from Alabama

Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.

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(512): View more from Texas

I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.

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(917): View more from New York City

True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.

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