we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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