my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
The power of my boobs compel you
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
