after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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