spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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