So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
