don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
