Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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