At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
