I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
