Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
