dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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