i need an iv and a liver transplant
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
