I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
