Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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