Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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