All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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