Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
