She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize