I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
