I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
