dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
