Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
i now understand why vodka
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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