Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I did not marry a roomba.
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