He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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