so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
